Penn Tells Me Why He Wasn’t In This Picture With Teller

So a couple weeks ago I posted this picture and story on my personal Facebook wall (at



Just a Vegas headliner, sitting on the floor, helping a kid with his new magic kit…

Penn & Teller, after doing their full show at the Rio in Las Vegas, take the time to stand in the lobby and meet & greet anyone who wants to say hello, take a pic, or get an autograph. They’ve been doing this since they started, for decades.

Everyone. Hundreds of people. Maybe a thousand. Until the last person leaves.

This little guy had a new Penn & Teller magic kit from the merch table, and sat down in the entrance hallway to check it out (because kids who are inspired with something as soon as they see it, tend to just “drop everything and DO IT” on the spot!).

Everyone else had left the theater.

Teller took the time to sit down on the floor with this boy and his parents, to show them some of the different items in the box.

Teller didn’t HAVE to do this… He didn’t take their money, shove them out the door, and run to his dressing room, even though he was surely tired (he had just finished their 90+ minute show AND met with everyone who wanted to say hi). He didn’t do it as a photo-op for gathered press & media; everyone had left.

As the mother (who took this photo) said, “This photo was worth more than seeing the show.”

What a cool dude. This is what a STAR looks like.

And then later, THIS notification pops up on my phone…


This surprised me, because I don’t know the guy personally.  He’s, like, famous and stuff.  His work has had a major influence on me, I respect him greatly, and here he is, commenting on my personal Facebook.  Neato.

Anyway, he commented to defend his absence from the picture:


…Thus far, he hasn’t answered my question.


“Magicians are assholes!” lol

I called in to “The 4:20 Report” the other day:

See the whole original post at:

Live In Quincy IL on Saturday September 9th at Martinis!


and MARTINIS AT 515 present
featuring comedian MARCOS LARA
on SATURDAY, SEPT. 9, 2017
(515 Maine St, Quincy, Illinois)
2 SHOWS: 7:00pm and 10:00pm
By Phone At 217-222-5150
Or Online:

And ask about the special package-deal offer for the rest of the Grassroots Comedy Tour series of shows!

[NEW VIDEO] Carry this secret thing in your pocket, and screw with people all day, every day

Endless funny prank possibilities…  Make virtually *anything* appear to squeak, squawk, or squeal when you touch, poke, or squeeze it!

As shown in the video, you can “D.I.Y.” to make your own “secret thing,” but if you want to save some time, money, and hassle, here is the link to buy what you’ll need, already pre-made (along with a bunch of additional prank ideas):

COMEDY FOR DAD – Saturday June 17 – Springfield IL

Saturday, June 17th, 2017
Proceeds To Benefit ILLINOIS FATHERS
The Dirty Jokes & Magic Tricks Show
featuring guest comic D. Lynn Bennett
@ The Springfield Eagles Club
(2413 MacArthur Blvd, Springfield IL)
8:00 PM Showtime
(Doors Open at 7:00)
Tickets Available At The Eagles Club

“The Kraken” Black Spiced Rum Presents Allen & Hults – June 29th in Shorewood IL


“The Kraken” Black Spiced Rum Presents The “KRAKEN UP COMEDY” Show And Dinner on Thursday, June 29th, 2017… Nathan Allen “The Maniac of Magic” with comedian Nathan Hults… Live @ Skooter’s Roadhouse in Shorewood, Illinois…  Show Starts at 7:30 PM, But Arrive Plenty Early For An Incredible B.B.Q. Buffet Dinner – WHICH IS INCLUDED WITH YOUR SHOW TICKET!  Only $15 per person.  Cash bar available.  Tickets available at Skooter’s, by calling 815-799-4700, or by visiting

LIVE!!! w/ Dobie Maxwell (“Mr. Lucky”) and Nathan Allen (“The Maniac of Magic”) on Saturday May 13th!


proudly presents
w/ comedian Dobie Maxwell (“Mr. Lucky”)
comic-magician Nathan Allen (“The Maniac of Magic”)
on Saturday, May 13, 2017

at White Pine Pavilion
(9832 Co. Hwy SS., Bloomer, WI)
Show Starts 8:00 PM
Doors open at 7:00 PM
Tickets $15 advance / $20 day of show
(with 50/50 Raffles!)
For tickets:
Seth (Sand Bar & Grill) 715-723-1266
Dave (Snout Saloon) 715-723-4848
Marty (Happy Hour) 715-568-1622


Is that a priest gazing lovingly at a small banana?
Because that looks a lot like a priest gazing lovingly at a small banana.

(VIDEO) My own cockiness almost killed me during a live show

I was about four inches from death, simply because I’m a fucking idiot.

The incident was about 15 years ago, but this was the first time I’ve told this story.

This is an excerpt from when I was on the “Blind Not Stupid” podcast; you can hear the full episode at

Oh… and don’t try this at home.

the disappearing goldfish trick

I did a show for a private party last weekend.  It was an adult-only gathering of friends, just for fun.

Earlier in the day, they had a “scavenger hunt” where people had to find random stuff to bring back to the party, and one of the treasures was a bowl of goldfish.

Oh, and one of the items was a carved wooden dildo.

But I digress.

So, the goldfish bowl was sitting in the back of the room during the evening, and… one by one… they began to disappear.

And by disappear, I mean people were EATING them.

Saw a couple of the disappearances.

One dude – instead of simply swallowing the goldfish, in the normal fashion (is that normal??) – popped the damn fish in his mouth and chewed it up.

He was chewing with his mouth open (bad manners, right?!), and while he chomped, the head of said goldfish spat out of his mouth and onto the floor.

But do you think he picked it back up and finished his meal? Hell, no! That thing was on the floor, man! Gross!

But at least he picked it up and put it back in the bowl, so nobody would step on it.  That’s straight-up gentlemanly.

This was the bowl at the end of the night:


Sometimes my audiences scare me.

But, ya know what? Wouldn’t trade them for a “normal” magician’s audience. Not in a million years.

Give me goldfish-eating alcoholics ANY day of the week over a bunch of hyperactive kids and disinterested parents.

I love my job.