MEN: How To Sneeze While You’re Peeing Without Spraying Everywhere
We’ve all been there.
You’re standing at the toilet, peacefully tinkling, when you feel it about to happen; you’re gonna sneeze.
You know that when you sneeze two vital issues will immediately arise:
(1) Your eyes will close. You can’t sneeze with your eyes open.
(2) The muscles in your abdomen (and everywhere else) are going to involuntarily contract, jerking your body to one side or the other (or up or down, forward or back).
You have two options at this point: either
(A) try to hold off the sneeze, doing everything in your power to prevent it until you are done pissing (you very rarely can ever do that), or
(B) stop pissing. And once you’re mid-stream, that is very difficult.
So what do you do?
How do you sneeze while you’re peeing, without spraying everywhere?
You don’t. That shit’s fucking impossible. Also, don’t go into my bathroom until I have a moment to clean.