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The best clown gig ever offered
I wonder if they found anybody?
From Craigslist:
Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/814181712.htmlDate: 2008-08-26, 3:22PM CDT
We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn’t even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.
the birthday is on Friday, Sept. 5th in Bucktown. Oh, did I mention that the clown needs to get shitfaced. Don’t worry, we will purchase all the drinks.
PostingID: 814181712
When someone tries to show me a card trick…
…this is exactly how I feel.
(Photo edited/created by – and stolen from – Geoff Williams: http://GeoffWilliamsMagic.com)
Miracle Elixir In The Hotel Bathroom
The tiny-hotel-shampoo is labeled “Awake“.
Its special awakening ingredients?
“Sunflower & Grapefruit Essences“.
Okay. Whatever.
The tiny-hotel-soap is labeled “Calm“.
Its special calming ingredients?
“Sunflower & Grapefruit Essences“.
Okay. Whatev- Wait.
WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!
Ruptured eardrums and broken fingers
Got some new toys for the show today…
The first is a brand-spankin’ new sound system to take on the road. I’ve been playing with it all afternoon, and… I love it. It is AMAZING. If you’re in the market for a portable sound system that packs a punch, I highly recommend the YAMAHA STAGEPAS™ 500:
http://www.yamahaproaudio.com/global/en/products/pasystems/stagepas500/index.jsp
In fact, the music store I bought it through was so impressed with it (they had never had one in-stock before, so they tested mine when it arrived), that they said they were going to stop carrying “similar” (they’re not even close) “competing” (it’s not even a competition) portable sound systems and start carrying just *this* one. They were gushing, basically. It’s an incredible piece of equipment for the traveling performer.
The other toy I got for the show today is… ummm… one of those very inhumane steel-jaw leg-hold animal traps.
Don’t judge me.
You know the type of trap I’m talking about, the ones where steel jaws slam shut when the trigger is activated, slashing the skin and breaking the bones of whichever poor innocent creature happens to get too close.
I don’t want to post the photos here, but if you’re sick and twisted, check out Google Images for “coyote leg trap” to see some pretty disturbing photos of the new toy I’ve been playing with.
Fuck it. If you’re brave, here is a photo:
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l189/pappyp/coyote4.jpg
I already have several (hopefully not permanent) injuries from this evil device, and I’ve only owned it for a few hours.
Stay tuned for the imminent announcements of ruptured eardrums and broken fingers.
Love youse. Take care.
Looking for a Nebraska Magician, Nebraska Comedian, Nebraska Entertainer, or Nebraska Entertainment?
Are you looking for a Nebraska Magician, Nebraska Comedian, Nebraska Entertainer, or Nebraska Entertainment? You’ve come to the right place! I am a Magician-Comedian who can help you make your next Nebraska event insanely fun and impossible to forget!
While I don’t actually live in Nebraska, I am willing to travel anywhere in Nebraska if you need a Nebraska Magician, Nebraska Comedian, Nebraska Entertainer, or Nebraska Entertainment.
Some of the Nebraska events, parties, and venues at which I can entertain include…
- Adult Birthday Parties in Nebraska
- Awards Nights in Nebraska
- Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties in Nebraska
- Banquet Events in Nebraska
- Bars in Nebraska
- Beer Gardens in Nebraska
- Casinos in Nebraska
- Christmas Parties in Nebraska
- Class Reunions in Nebraska
- Club Events in Nebraska
- Coffee Shops in Nebraska
- Colleges and Universities in Nebraska
- Comedy Clubs in Nebraska
- Comedy Nights in Nebraska
- Community Events in Nebraska
- Community Theaters in Nebraska
- Company Parties in Nebraska
- Conventions in Nebraska
- Corporate Events in Nebraska
- Country Clubs and Golf Courses in Nebraska
- Customer Appreciation Events in Nebraska
- Employee Appreciation Parties in Nebraska
- Fairs and Festivals in Nebraska
- Fraternity and Sorority Functions in Nebraska
- Fund-Raiser Events in Nebraska
- Graduation Parties in Nebraska
- Halloween Parties in Nebraska
- Holiday Parties in Nebraska
- Hotel Events in Nebraska
- House Parties in Nebraska
- Lounges in Nebraska
- New Year’s Eve Parties in Nebraska
- Nightclubs in Nebraska
- Office Parties in Nebraska
- Opera Houses in Nebraska
- Post-Prom and After-Prom Parties in Nebraska
- Private Parties in Nebraska
- Public Events in Nebraska
- Resorts in Nebraska
- Taverns in Nebraska
- Theaters in Nebraska
Some of the Nebraska cities and towns in which I’m available to perform include…
- Alliance, Nebraska
- Auburn, Nebraska
- Aurora, Nebraska
- Beatrice, Nebraska
- Bellevue, Nebraska
- Blair, Nebraska
- Broken Bow, Nebraska
- Central City, Nebraska
- Chadron, Nebraska
- Chalco, Nebraska
- Columbus, Nebraska
- Cozad, Nebraska
- Crete, Nebraska
- David City, Nebraska
- Elkhorn, Nebraska
- Fairbury, Nebraska
- Falls City, Nebraska
- Fremont, Nebraska
- Gering, Nebraska
- Gothenburg, Nebraska
- Grand Island, Nebraska
- Hastings, Nebraska
- Holdrege, Nebraska
- Kearney, Nebraska
- Kimball, Nebraska
- La Vista, Nebraska
- Lexington, Nebraska
- Lincoln, Nebraska
- McCook, Nebraska
- Minden, Nebraska
- Nebraska City, Nebraska
- Norfolk, Nebraska
- North Platte, Nebraska
- Offutt AFB, Nebraska
- Ogallala, Nebraska
- Omaha, Nebraska
- O’Neill, Nebraska
- Papillion, Nebraska
- Plattsmouth, Nebraska
- Ralston, Nebraska
- Schuyler, Nebraska
- Scottsbluff, Nebraska
- Seward, Nebraska
- Sidney, Nebraska
- South Sioux City, Nebraska
- Valentine, Nebraska
- Wahoo, Nebraska
- Wayne, Nebraska
- West Point, Nebraska
- York, Nebraska
- …and, of course, all of the smaller Nebraska towns in between!
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