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The best clown gig ever offered
I wonder if they found anybody?
From Craigslist:
Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/814181712.htmlDate: 2008-08-26, 3:22PM CDT
We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn’t even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.
the birthday is on Friday, Sept. 5th in Bucktown. Oh, did I mention that the clown needs to get shitfaced. Don’t worry, we will purchase all the drinks.
PostingID: 814181712
When someone tries to show me a card trick…
…this is exactly how I feel.
(Photo edited/created by – and stolen from – Geoff Williams: http://GeoffWilliamsMagic.com)
Miracle Elixir In The Hotel Bathroom
The tiny-hotel-shampoo is labeled “Awake“.
Its special awakening ingredients?
“Sunflower & Grapefruit Essences“.
Okay. Whatever.
The tiny-hotel-soap is labeled “Calm“.
Its special calming ingredients?
“Sunflower & Grapefruit Essences“.
Okay. Whatev- Wait.
WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!
Ruptured eardrums and broken fingers
Got some new toys for the show today…
The first is a brand-spankin’ new sound system to take on the road. I’ve been playing with it all afternoon, and… I love it. It is AMAZING. If you’re in the market for a portable sound system that packs a punch, I highly recommend the YAMAHA STAGEPAS™ 500:
http://www.yamahaproaudio.com/global/en/products/pasystems/stagepas500/index.jsp
In fact, the music store I bought it through was so impressed with it (they had never had one in-stock before, so they tested mine when it arrived), that they said they were going to stop carrying “similar” (they’re not even close) “competing” (it’s not even a competition) portable sound systems and start carrying just *this* one. They were gushing, basically. It’s an incredible piece of equipment for the traveling performer.
The other toy I got for the show today is… ummm… one of those very inhumane steel-jaw leg-hold animal traps.
Don’t judge me.
You know the type of trap I’m talking about, the ones where steel jaws slam shut when the trigger is activated, slashing the skin and breaking the bones of whichever poor innocent creature happens to get too close.
I don’t want to post the photos here, but if you’re sick and twisted, check out Google Images for “coyote leg trap” to see some pretty disturbing photos of the new toy I’ve been playing with.
Fuck it. If you’re brave, here is a photo:
http://i96.photobucket.com/albums/l189/pappyp/coyote4.jpg
I already have several (hopefully not permanent) injuries from this evil device, and I’ve only owned it for a few hours.
Stay tuned for the imminent announcements of ruptured eardrums and broken fingers.
Love youse. Take care.
Looking for a Minnesota Magician, Minnesota Comedian, Minnesota Entertainer, or Minnesota Entertainment?
Are you looking for a Minnesota Magician, Minnesota Comedian, Minnesota Entertainer, or Minnesota Entertainment? You’ve come to the right place! I am a Magician-Comedian who can help you make your next Minnesota event insanely fun and impossible to forget!
While I don’t actually live in Minnesota, I am willing to travel anywhere in Minnesota if you need a Minnesota Magician, Minnesota Comedian, Minnesota Entertainer, or Minnesota Entertainment.
Some of the Minnesota events, parties, and venues at which I can entertain include…
- Adult Birthday Parties in Minnesota
- Awards Nights in Minnesota
- Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties in Minnesota
- Banquet Events in Minnesota
- Bars in Minnesota
- Beer Gardens in Minnesota
- Casinos in Minnesota
- Christmas Parties in Minnesota
- Class Reunions in Minnesota
- Club Events in Minnesota
- Coffee Shops in Minnesota
- Colleges and Universities in Minnesota
- Comedy Clubs in Minnesota
- Comedy Nights in Minnesota
- Community Events in Minnesota
- Community Theaters in Minnesota
- Company Parties in Minnesota
- Conventions in Minnesota
- Corporate Events in Minnesota
- Country Clubs and Golf Courses in Minnesota
- Customer Appreciation Events in Minnesota
- Employee Appreciation Parties in Minnesota
- Fairs and Festivals in Minnesota
- Fraternity and Sorority Functions in Minnesota
- Fund-Raiser Events in Minnesota
- Graduation Parties in Minnesota
- Halloween Parties in Minnesota
- Holiday Parties in Minnesota
- Hotel Events in Minnesota
- House Parties in Minnesota
- Lounges in Minnesota
- New Year’s Eve Parties in Minnesota
- Nightclubs in Minnesota
- Office Parties in Minnesota
- Opera Houses in Minnesota
- Post-Prom and After-Prom Parties in Minnesota
- Private Parties in Minnesota
- Public Events in Minnesota
- Resorts in Minnesota
- Taverns in Minnesota
- Theaters in Minnesota
Some of the Minnesota cities and towns in which I’m available to perform include…
- Albert Lea, Minnesota
- Andover, Minnesota
- Apple Valley, Minnesota
- Austin, Minnesota
- Blaine, Minnesota
- Bloomington, Minnesota
- Brooklyn Center, Minnesota
- Brooklyn Park, Minnesota
- Burnsville, Minnesota
- Champlin, Minnesota
- Chanhassen, Minnesota
- Columbia Heights, Minnesota
- Coon Rapids, Minnesota
- Cottage Grove, Minnesota
- Crystal, Minnesota
- Duluth, Minnesota
- Eagan, Minnesota
- Eden Prairie, Minnesota
- Edina, Minnesota
- Faribault, Minnesota
- Fridley, Minnesota
- Golden Valley, Minnesota
- Inver Grove Heights, Minnesota
- Lakeville, Minnesota
- Mankato, Minnesota
- Maple Grove, Minnesota
- Maplewood, Minnesota
- Minneapolis, Minnesota
- Minnetonka, Minnesota
- Moorhead, Minnesota
- New Brighton, Minnesota
- New Hope, Minnesota
- Oakdale, Minnesota
- Owatonna, Minnesota
- Plymouth, Minnesota
- Ramsey, Minnesota
- Richfield, Minnesota
- Rochester, Minnesota
- Roseville, Minnesota
- Savage, Minnesota
- Shakopee, Minnesota
- Shoreview, Minnesota
- South St. Paul, Minnesota
- St. Cloud, Minnesota
- St. Louis Park, Minnesota
- St. Paul, Minnesota
- West St. Paul, Minnesota
- White Bear Lake, Minnesota
- Winona, Minnesota
- Woodbury, Minnesota
- …and, of course, all of the smaller Minnesota towns in between!
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