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I just got pranked harder than I’ve ever been pranked. Ever.
I got pranked so hard this morning. My g/f, Sara, sends me this photo, says she received it last night, demanding to know who this woman is, and freaking the fuck out.
(A) I was alone last night, (B) I’m not a cheater, and (C) I don’t even recognize the woman.
So I’m in full-on panic mode, especially after several stalker-esque emails I’ve been receiving, AND all of my underwear disappeared from my home recently (not even kidding). I’m physically shaking because someone has taken the casual-stalking a bit too far, there were strangers in my room while I slept, and my love hates me and thinks I cheated.
After much dedicated jealous & angry acting on Sara’s part, I find out that she and her friend, Jackie, had snuck into the house around 4am and took the photo (I didn’t recognize Jackie in the pic) without waking me with their giggling (I was snoring pretty hard), and left.
So hard.
I was pranked so, so hard.
Sara: 1
Nathan: 0
David Copperfield’s secret embarrassing problem… EXPOSED
Not many people in the general public know this, but world-famous magician David Copperfield has long suffered from chronic flatulence. This is the reason he performs silently, to music, so often; so they can turn down his onstage microphone and he can let ‘er rip.
Here are a few clips that the audio guy recorded right from the sound-mixer in the audio booth, though.
During these silent/choreographed routines, Copperfield’s microphone audio feed is not broadcast to the audience, so most of the audience is never aware of his problem.
His touring crew and onstage assistants know, though.
They know.
They. Know.
(And, no, I did not make this video – I stumbled across it on iTricks.com)
I just signed a contract with SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE!!!
And it’s a GREAT deal.
All I have to do… is stop calling every day, begging to be on television.
And they, in return… will drop the harassment charges.
…
…
…
Yeah, it was just a joke. ;) But I totally get a +1 Internets for making you click.
Help me name my new dove
After I had to fire the other dove for his bad attitude (details here), I’ve moved on…
I’ve been chatting with THIS little guy, and we’re working on a pretty decent act for the show. He’s going to (A) magically appear, and then (B) read someone’s mind.
Might put him in the show as early as this weekend.
To protect his privacy, though, he says he wants a “stage name” – Any suggestions, folks?
Fearing for my safety due to a disgruntled ex-employee
It is with great regret that I announce the discontinuation of Birdie’s employment in the show.
I had no choice but to fire him. He has had a very poor attitude as of late, which created a hostile work environment.
Granted, I did accidentally crush his favorite cage, but I apologized and offered to buy him a new one; he just gave me the silent treatment. Ever since then, he refused to speak to me, and refused to leave his cage. He just sat in there, silently sulking.
When I informed him that I would no longer be needing his services, he just stared at me in a threatening manner. He ignored my requests for him to leave – I had to physically remove him from the house.
He still hasn’t left the property. He’s still out there on the sidewalk, staring at me through the window (see photo, below). I think he’s trying to intimidate me. And, honestly, it’s working. I fear for my safety. There’s no telling what a disgruntled ex-employee will do – especially one who so obviously didn’t like me to begin with.
Do you think I should call the authorities?
If you watch one video today, make it this one.
FISM (Fédération Internationale des Sociétés Magiques – basically the Olympics of Magic) winner Yann Frisch, doing a silent, amazing, and very amusing sleight-of-hand routine. I could watch this daily.
To The Magicians Who Are Upset By “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”
To The Magicians Who Are Upset By “The Incredible Burt Wonderstone”:
I understand that a lot of magicians are all butt-hurt over the new “Burt Wonderstone” film because magicians are being portrayed as cheesy, corny, and socially awkward.
Look, you humorless twats: stereotypes about magicians came from SOMEWHERE, and I’ll bet my left nut that if YOU are upset by this, you are EXACTLY who the film was making fun of.
Smash all your sparkly magic boxes, use the wood to build a bridge, and get over it… because if you can’t laugh at yourself, the rest of us will gladly do it for you.
That is all.
Sincerely,
Nathan Allen
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