Why I was reported & banned from Facebook (uptight douchebags, please ‘unlike’ my page)

So, earlier this week, someone “reported” a post I had made, and it resulted in Facebook banning me for 24 hours.

What was it?  Explicit nudity?!  Hateful rhetoric about race, religion, or sexual orientation?!  Photos or videos of dogs & cats being abused?!  Footage of an execution?!

Nope.

Here is the offending photo I posted:

masturbation_social_story

I captioned it with something to the effect of, “Ohhh. So I should NOT do that while riding on the bus. Okay.”

So here’s a little context.

That page is from a website called ‘Living Well With Autism,’ where they provide free resources for parents and caregivers of children with autism. This particular page was from a section that deals with sensitive topics, such as puberty, personal safety, and appropriate behaviors.

Makes sense now, eh?

BUT… outside of that context… not knowing the original intent of that page (and there is nothing ON the page to suggest its intended audience or use)… I FOUND IT FRIGGIN’ HILARIOUS.  And so have a LOT of other people – I found it on an online message-board-forum thingie, where people were just giddy about how ridiculously odd and funny it was.

And I imagine, when you first saw that image, your response was something to the effect of, “lol… wut?!”  …the same reaction that I – and thousands of other people have had – when it’s seen out of context.

So, anyway, someone who “likes” my Facebook page “reported” me for that. They reported me for a line-drawn teaching-aid.

Uptight, much? Jeez.

And this is not the first time I’ve been reported.

The first time was a few months ago, when I posted a photo I had taken of a crazy woman standing in a bar at an electronic gambling machine, with her pants half-down. It was funny. I mean, c’mon. Some crazy lady was playing slots with her slot out.  FUNNY.

Look… I understand that what *is* and *is not* offensive to people is completely subjective. What one person may be totally fine with, the next person might be so repulsed that they have a nervous meltdown.

HOWEVER… these people ‘liked’ my page.  I’m not forcing anyone to “follow” me.  THEY found ME.  And there is NOTHING about me or my live show or my Facebook page that should suggest that I provide squeaky-clean, Disney-esque, for-all-ages content.  My audience for my shows – and for my social media outlets – is adults… adults who know who I am and what I do.  I have a pretty sick sense of humor, and it shines through in nearly everything I do.

AAAAAAND… The crap that I post is TAME compared to MANY Facebook pages.  There is a LOT of sick shit out there.  There are a lot of twisted muthafuckas on Facebook.

Oh, here’s the kicker…

If the content of my post was so offensive that it warranted being reported to the FB police, WHY DIDN’T MY NUMBER OF ‘LIKES’ DECREASE?  You’d think that, if I offended someone so much that they reported me, they’d probably click “unlike” so they could stop following me, right?  Nope.  The number of ‘likes’ is the same.  If I’m so offensive, WHY WOULD THAT PERSON CONTINUE TO FOLLOW ME?

So here is a plea:

If you are such a Puritan uptight prude that you can’t handle skewed senses of humor and opinions that differ from yours, PLEASE UNLIKE MY PAGE. I don’t want you there. I don’t want to interact with you, I don’t want to offend you, AND I don’t want you to come to my live shows. I don’t even want to run into you in public. Just do this:  Lock yourself in your house and – for fuck’s sake – STAY OFF THE GODDAMNED INTERNET.

Or maybe I’ll just start posting photos of cute kittens.

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About Nathan Allen

Part Magician. Part Comedian. Totally Dysfunctional.

Posted on December 13, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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